When I was little, as with all small children, I used to have my fair share of moments when things did not go my way. Often, my Mum's response was something like, "wait until you're the Queen". Sadly, I am still waiting, and on my walk today I noticed all the Christmas decorations that were still up (it's +12C today, so weather isn't even an excuse!), and I started thinking of things that will be different when that day comes.
Note that this list is not exhaustive, nor is it designed to solve the world's financial, political, and socio-economic problems. No, it's just designed to address those pet peeves of mine which, if they were fixed, I'm quite sure would make the world just a little bit better.
- It will be illegal to have external Christmas decorations up past January 15th. Fines will escalate each week, culminating in jail time by Valentine's Day.
- Women's sizes will be aligned - a 10 will be a 10 no matter the designer. And, there will be no size zero (which by definition implies a woman has no size! It's ludicrous!)
- People will be able to perform citizen's arrests for certain public offenses, including:
- shouting on the cell phone (it's not a tin can, people)
- letting doors slam in someone's face
- failing to scoop your dog's poop
- holding the door for people
- being polite and/or pleasant to strangers
- handing you the correct change when you're fumbling in your wallet at the cashier because you're 6 cents short
- Correcting grammatically incorrect signage ("A dozen rose's for sale". Good grief.)